Putting down your phone is hard sometimes, but why?! A decade ago, it wasn’t like this. We didn’t immediately forgive each other for looking down at our texts and outright ignoring whomever we were with, instead, we got pissy. We said, ‘Exxxxcuse me!’ or more likely our phones were in our purses or on the table or lost for a few hours. They weren’t an extension of ourselves and it felt better that way. Remember?

I noticed recently, that whenever I visit far-off friends, I’m able to keep my phone in my bag or coat pocket throughout the day. I’m rarely picking it up and actively ignoring the human next to me, but I drop the ball when it comes to hanging out with my family. I guess their time seems more disposable somehow because I see them more often. This bums me out. As a relatively late smartphone convert (2016!) I’ve watched interactions with people and phones change for nearly a decade before deciding to upgrade. That means my smartphone adoration is relatively new and uncomfortable.

I’ve made a vow to myself to bury my phone deep in my bag next time I’m in for a family visit or holiday. Then I wondered, but what else could I possibly doing during that time?

Here are a few family activities that don’t involve a phone:

• Pick up a magazine or book – this usually depends on your attention span and ability to read while your chatty family is hanging out on the same couch with you.
• Color something. Yes, it seems pointless, but it also helps to calm the colorer down and almost lull them into a peaceful meditative moment. The positive byproducts of coloring are a slower heart and breathing rate. That’s a win. Oh and you can teach your niece’s your skillz.
• Make progress on a craft project. Pull something out that is half finished and half finish it some more.
• Play a game. This requires some participation from the fam, but just force them into it. That’s what I do with Scategory nights and they learn to love me through gritted teeth.
• Pick a movie. Vow to watch said movie. Seriously. Watch the damn movie. It seems like we’re always doing ten things while we watch TV and don’t get me wrong, that’s my main move, but every once in a while it’s nice to sit down together and actually share an experience.
• Take a walk. There is something about getting up, moving around, and switching up the scenery that breathes new life into a conversation. Sometimes we walk in silence, but even then I feel the emotions and thoughts getting jostled around.
• Cook something. Instead of having mealtime feel like a chore, put on some music, pour a glass of wine, and cook something together. Give each person a task, even if it’s as simple as refilling the wine glasses, and enjoy your time in the kitchen together.
• Reminisce. Yes, I’m suggesting something as simple as talking. Ask your parents questions, bring up random moments from your childhood, pull the lids off of photo boxes, simply open up. Memories, especially vivid ones are usually easy for people to talk about. Listen.

I know this post didn’t offer anything groundbreaking, but I do think it’s the simple, intentional moments of our day that make the biggest difference in how we feel overall. It’s about being mindful of your actions and how they deplete or renew your energy. I had been so emotionally irritated that I kept reaching for my phone that I didn’t feel like doing anything else. Now I have a few handy suggestions of where to place that energy and how to reconnect to the people (not devices) in my life and I hope you do too!

Want to read more about my late conversion to an iPhone?

• My first smartphone and what living without one taught me.
• A year with an iPhone.
• Addicted to my smartphone.